dear diary,

recently i have been rather pissed with my new internet connection, some mio thing. alright, i am not exactly an expert here. but. can anyone just tell me what on earth is wrong with mio?? the internet connection is snail's pace man. seriously, in these days, no one can possibly live--be alive--with such a slow internet connection.

enough of rantings.

i remembered telling you people that i am oh so in love with online shopping. perhaps i am super crazy about it till the fact that i do have the intention of opening a blogshop too. hmm. i guess that's seem to be a really great idea, besides the fact that i do not have the capital, i am having THE exam...A levels this year, i am inexperienced and close to a computer idiot. anyways, i am super excited and doubly passionate about opening this blogshop. in any case should i succeed. well. better not think about failing before this project even starts right? i will be rich!!! this is one of the greatest incentives available and motivation there is. but the bigger reason why i feel like investing in this blogshop is that it is going to be soooo exciting!!! be glad for me this once will you. smile!

i know that it is tough and i may have a hard time managing it. but who knows what the future holds? i am soo going to give it a try:)

wish me well.

ta-da,
countingfaces

*counting faces*

dear diary,

recently, i have been hooked up on online shopping. oh, i really think the internet is possibly one of the greatest tool ever invented. okay, i mean space. cyber space. it is the best medium for everything, ranging from communication to business. online shopping really gives me the best of the both worlds. to satisfy my crave for shopping..it's the Great Singapore Sales people..and at the same time..at the comfort of my own home. however, it does have it's negatives. everything has. it's a risk you'll probably have to take. to believe in the other party. it is a matter of trust now. can you just believe the different facets that this little online shopping entangles. just the problems alone makes it not so much a small deal but more of something that encompasses deeper thoughts and wisdom.

so you will not get cheated i mean.

alright. enough of the sophistication. and the prelude. i wanted to talk about scams. really.

a lady, who claimed to be an employee of the Atlantis group, rang me a few months back and told me i won a prize. unbelievable as it is because i have never joined any of the lucky draw thing they were talking about. well, she asked me to watch the charity show..following which was the lucky draw on some weird channel(i didn't have cable). but the thing is, even if i do own cable, i won't be able to watch it because it clashed with family day! and i am not going to give up family day for anything. we all have been working hard for this carnival and it is definitely not going to be sacrificed for something which seems more likely a scam. oh she sounded so real. i swear. i almost got scammed.

she blamed me for not believing her as it was my fault not to watch the show. thus, i have my doubts. alright. it is my fault. she blamed me for not going to hongkong to collect it. okay, my fault again. she blamed me for not believing her. how could i? i am not senile or deranged..i did not watch the show...explaining my doubts and all. she blamed me for not choosing the alternative. which by the way was to pay 2% of the prize money for their welfare..part of the country's law. believe me. the technicalities bore. they do. hello?? it was about $2000 plus and i am not giving my money away just like that. everything she said had loopholes. even if it was true. how can the company do things in such unprofessional way. note the strong word: unprofessional. they are ATLANTIS.. not supposed to. when they own the hotel in dubai that costs billions of dollars??

alright...i admit i wanted it to be real. but let's face the reality..i can't get it even if i wanted to! i can't spare to go to hongkong. i can't spare to transfer 2000 bucks into the account. sigh.

but the morally wrong thing that she shouldn't do was to threaten me that she would jump off the building to prove that she's right. i did not want her to do that. she was becoming irrational and she was scaring me. i thought that it was my money? why is she so agitated? that, i couldn't understand. now i am still figuring that out. it's baffling. isn't it?

sometimes, certains scams do pass off as real. OMG. they are really hard to differentiate. they play on human's vulnerabilities..greed i guess. better be wiser next time. do not even give a chance.

seriously.


widely wake,
counting faces

*counting faces*

dear diary,

i really cannot explain how i feel these days. seriously, it's sweet sour and bitter.

there are things which i really cannot fathom and comprehend. alright, it means i don't understand. but the thing is, they are all too sudden. probably, the only way to describe it is as if someone dropped a huge bomb in my life, dug a huge hole for me to fall into, shot me with a rifle so i hurt so bad, heavily wounded with millions of holes and scars on me. these issues eat my heart out and gradually left me very hollow. all because i cannot understand. i can't or refuse. this i cannot differentiate.

that is the bitter part.

Sour.
it is sour because i feel the power of deviousness around me. being taken advantaged of. well, the biggest problem is it's not about me at all. it's largely about my dears... i really can't save them. it is difficult to stand around watching not doing anything. sl, we can try battling out with the character, but all is lost. you must know we will lose..we are at the losing end. we are not favoured. the conditions do not allow at all. is probably 9 years longer or a few months longer? really come on...it's reality. (see, this is the rational part of me which i refuse to acknowledge). i dream of a close-knit circle. i'm dreaming. is it because i already knew i had to let go, but i am still i self-denial. possible.

that's why it is so sour.


Sweet.
i feel extremely eloquent when it comes to this part. my week has simply been fantastic with me going for sleepovers, adventures, outings, more outings, luncheons, meetings with my beloved juniors..my dearest ones persay, my best friend.
sleepovers. i am serious i had not had such a tiring one. really, who excersises that much? my classmates. *laughs heartily* actually it was superb! i felt revived after that. and our night expedition in a weak attempt to frighten the guts out of our another poor classmate. this obviously failed miserably. but as you can see...we had a night expedition..means adventure..means lots of walking..means working out. you are right. exercising. *laughs* they totally excavated my deeply buried burning desire to lead a heathly lifestyle. wait..don't steer. you are right again. a healthy lifestyle.
outings. i love outings. had a really interesting one. my trip to thrift stores with sleepover friends. to tell you the truth, we were extremely disappointed with them. or rather with it, we went to the one on waterloo street but it was seriously miserable. there was something cheap about the air. well, it's not the problem.. it's the quality and designs of the hand-me-downs. disgusting they were. you can't find a thing. poorly organised and dusty. musty. we took pictures instead. although it was very tiring and we were cheated by the "everything is fantastic" megazines, we did enjoy ourselves and called it a day with lots of pictures taking and short shopping experiences at er....bugis street and bugis junction.*smiles*
now at least we know the real and ugly truth about thrift stores.
meeting with effygirl.
i love all my meetups with her. she gives very good advice. that's for one. the other reason being we are super close to one another. very chummy. we went really way back. but our most vivid memories still sort of stopped at the sec 3 cultural exchange trip to china. we were roommates for 11 days. that really added a plus point to our friendship. another layer of coating. i can tell her anything under the sun and she's really a good listener. always making my day at the end with her wise words, all very sardonic. how ironic is that. dramatic.
meetings with kay.
kay is also a very close friend of mine. a close friend of all of us in the clique. laughs. i'd really prefer to call them groups if i am allowed to. kay also gives excellent advice. we can really talk alot too. she is very concerned about my studies. so i shall be studious. okay. more studious so as to not disappoint her. laughs again. wait. i shall be serious. shouout: it is time to buck up! pull up your socks!
outings with my beloved juniors. beloved. they really are the GREATEST juniors you can ever possibly have. they are my dearest. love them love them love them. they are all sweet and always there for you. i remembered that i was very nervous and discouraged and demoralised towards SYF and they encouraged me a lot. they comforted. and some of my dears even gave me a card. see the irony? but the things is, they are lovely people. enough of the never ending praises i am singing. NO. i shall not stop! i went cycling yesterday. without knowing how to cycle. so the only choice besides learning is tandem. ahem. yes tandem. and being like super heavy...okay people..i realise the need to lose weight...it's not just some casual comment already. my skinniest junior tandemed me. he is really damn skinny. i knew it would break his bones but he kept reassuring me that it is alright. how sweet is that? told you my juniors were the best. the rest kept saying you can do it. can you imagine being in an environment with all smiles, all encouragement and even the air reeks of love! we are the xyz family indeed.
luncheons. oh yay. truthfully, me and my classmates have luncheons almost every other day. we all enjoy food and share our love for food. favourite hangout, either pizzahut and kfc. the juicy part is..these people are actually going for 30 hour famine camp. i really can't imagine how they will possibly survive these torturous minutes and hours. all i can say is good luck my girls! you guys love food like mad, so it really is big decision to join this. i mean, come on, pay $30 dollars to starve yourself which is why my classmates are all soo cute and sweet. it's for a good cause what. that's what they'll say. you don't see that kind people around. laughs. hey! i am not pointing to myself.
just received an sms. my darling is worried she will be very very very hungry!
my cousins.
my closest cousin is flying to gold coast. without me. i am so stuck here in singapore, preparing for my exams. however, i shall look on the brighter side of life and see it as a chance for me to buck up on my studies. hope she will really enjoy the sun, the sand, the sea. wonderful!
my best friend.
recently i chatted with her for a while. it was really a while because she had to prepare for her h3 examinations. it was really lovely talking to her. we are soulmates. we don't really talk much. ahem. i understand the confusion here. i am talkative, blabbling nonsense all day long. but yes, we do not talk as much. all that is left unsaid is perfectly understood. recently her gram passed away. i really felt very sorry for her. i send my condolences. i am seriously upset about this. should be classified under bitter.

above is my bitter. sour. and sweet life. i guess it is always like that. there are people to leave you mid-hanging and people who will make your day. i am very grateful to those who made my day.

love,
counting faces